Youthemeus

Because there are few things we can be sure of….

Guru-matic – It has all the answers!

on April 9, 2014
Every home should have one!

Every home should have one!

Diary Entry #262:

My endless quest for enlightenment continues. My go-to-guru list now numbers in the hundreds.
I think I may have finally mastered my understanding of Zen Donkey Wisdom; I can now find my ass with both hands.

Frustratingly, I am finding it hard to choose what to put in my sandwiches; Lunch Guru is on a retreat so is of no help to me.
I fear I may starve.

The days are long and empty; Guru Happy Face will not return my calls and Sri Master Bouncing Cheeseball is booked for the next month.
According to Ascended Plutonian Bus Conductor, my problem is that I am not doing enough work on my Sacred Gizzard Chakra.
When I can raise another $500, I shall certainly be attending that workshop again. Fifth time lucky, hopefully.

For now I sit, Merkaba in hand, gazing longingly at the Crystal Healing Unicycle that I bought.
If only my Transverse Vacuous Pressure Point would close up, I might be able to ride it again.
(At the moment, it’s rubber rings and ointment until the pain goes away.)

Without the wisdom of my beloved Closet Lightwiggle Journeyman, I am uninspired as to what to wear. So, it is with heavy heart and odd socks that I sign off.

I have consulted the Starvision Magic Almanac and apparently tomorrow will be a better day.

Live long and prostate. (That’s a Plutonian phrase apparently. Thanks to APBC for the input.)

 

PS: see attached advert from the Gullible Times. Thinking of sending off for one.

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2 responses to “Guru-matic – It has all the answers!

  1. zodiactarot says:

    “Zen Donkey Wisdom; I can now find my ass with both hands.”. I love this!

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