Youthemeus

Because there are few things we can be sure of….

The Unbearable Weight of Truth

Artist unknown

The words which we don’t dare to speak,
Are the words that weigh us down.
The silent words that tell of pain,
Are those that help us drown.

The stories that we cannot tell
Are those that keep us bound.
The things that we can never say,
Will keep us in the ground.

The truths that can’t be said aloud,
Are those that stop our breath.
The sentences that set us free,
Unspoken, hasten death.

The darkness that we keep close by,
In the suffocating still.
The nothing we believe we are,
The void we never fill.

Though in the gloom; a spark! a breeze!
Of something simply kind.
A hand that reaches in the fire,
Bids us leave it all behind.

To tell our truth, to damn those lies,
Is to walk in light unknown.
The freedom that we yearn for now,
Grows the seed that hope has sown.

 

 

©youthemeus 2017

 

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Will the real Almighty please stand up?

Who's throne is it anyway?

When new friends find out that I follow a pagan path, their first comment is usually, “Oh! So, you don’t believe in God, then?” My answers tend to contain the familiar themes of “I believe in lots of gods and goddesses, some of which have names and faces”, or “it depends which gods you are talking about.” A discussion on the “Olde Ways” usually ensues and we may also talk about the ways that society was shaped by organised religions or how life is a constant battleground for those who choose to follow narrow doctrines. I find this particular exchange of ideas interesting and have learnt much over the years just by listening to other people discuss their belief systems.

However, if I were really open and honest, I would tell my friends that I actually DO believe in God*.

I just don’t like him.
Simple as that.

By making the preceding statement, I have probably caused offence to many who count themselves as “faithful”, “saved” or “chosen”. I would hope never to propagate a crisis of faith in anyone and would never attempt to change someone’s mind about their god; it is not my path with which to interfere. Nonetheless, I do feel it is appropriate to discuss the fact that God might be a nasty piece of work and that we should be able to say so without fear of censure.
God can be a bit of a brute, really. He is demanding, jealous, vengeful and angry (his words, not mine). He wants to be worshipped, followed and loved above all others. He demands utter devotion, faithfulness and (if necessary) the ultimate sacrifice. He gives and then he takes away again. He creates, only to destroy. He shows his love and confidence in someone by grinding their face into the dirt and then lifting them up by the hair to see if they still love him. He smites, saves, incinerates, heals, drowns, and visits plagues and pestilence on whole races of people. He tells us that there is no rock that he can’t look under, no depth that he can’t reach. In the middle of all of that hostile language, he also tells us that he loves us and can protect us. In any other circumstances, we would call this type of behaviour abusive.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with God. He does his thing (very well) and I do mine. I know that he exists, and therefore believe in him; but, as yet, I have not worked out his real name. He is really quite vague on that issue, and that in itself is suspicious. I don’t think his name will turn out to be one of those forbidden words, or the secret symbols that we are told represent him. He may just be called Cloud-Drizzle or Sparrowlegs. These are not really names that inspire awe – that may be why he’s keeping schtum. Who knows? Whatever he is called, God is a guileful character. Perhaps he did not expect the human race to play along with him to this extent and for such a long time. Maybe he just was looking for mischief and everybody got carried away, men grew their beards, slaughtered a load of goats and started stoning women to death in his name. (That’s another thing that I don’t like about him. Quite frankly, he has a dreadful attitude towards women.) After a few thousand years, it could be that he believes his own publicity and has become a self-fulfilling prophecy, a kind of circular theological argument. Again, who knows?

In contrast, the gods and goddesses that I spend time thinking about are energetic expressions of different elements, personalities and pathways. Some are easier to work with than others. All should be treated with respect and their individual aspects should be acknowledged. Occasionally, some of my pantheon can be quite demanding (Hecate, you know who I’m talking about). Conversely, some just love to drift in and out on a casual basis (like peripatetic deities, I suppose).

God is not like that, he is an all or nothing type of being. He seems to gain some pleasure from watching the “believers” argue over which of them are his favourites. Sadly for them, the answer is that he doesn’t much care for any of them. Again, as in many abusive relationships, these believers justify, excuse and ignore his bad behaviour. What is it that keeps them going back to him? Is it love or fear? I wonder if some of them can actually tell the difference. Luckily, I can judge when an energy is manipulative or intimidating. I stand firm in my own place of power and call him out to account for his actions. At time of writing, I have had no acceptable explanations. I’m still waiting. (Waiting for God-Oh!)

So, when you are able, take yourself to your own sacred space and gather your gods around you. It doesn’t matter whether your gods hail from Olympus, Asgard, Kirinyaga or even whether you find them in the rivers, rocks and trees.  In their (fascinatingly beautiful) differences and intricacies, you will find that they have all that you need for the rich spiritual tapestry of your life.

I will offer one word of caution, though; if you do find a jealous, petulant and controlling character along the way, make sure to ask him his name.

Just in case.

 
~ Youthemeus

 *I’m giving him a big “G”, just so we know who we are talking about.

 

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Hail, Lady Moon

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I asked The Moon,
“Dear Lady, how is it to be The Moon?”
She sighed,
“Child, I have a heart that breaks and heals and breaks again.”

I asked The Moon,
“Why Lady, do you grieve so?”
She whispered,
“When men see me in my glory, they remember how much they love me,
and we dance like joyful lovers.
When I am quiet and dark, they forget me. I must dance alone.”

I asked The Moon,
“Beautiful Lady, why then do you go from our sight?”
She breathed in my ear,
“Because those faithful souls who truly work my magic will do so in the velvet blackness. It is they who heal me and persuade me to return once more to shine for those in need.
These silent, invisible ones are my children, the shadow walkers, the cloud sailors.
They are with me, in the dark. ”

I asked The Moon,
“My Lady, may I love you thus?”
She kissed my brow, “Why dearest one, you have always belonged to me. I have watched you sleep each night, sang my secrets into your dreams. We are as one.”

She sighed and shook her platinum hair, “Now come to me, let us paint the trees silver and keep the people from their slumber.
It is time to dance behind the clouds and set the dogs a-barking.
Come to me, my very own, my beloved Moonchild.”

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The shadow of a gecko

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I was feeling cut adrift, whirling loose in the wind. Like a piece of sail ripped from its lashing.
My mind churned, spitting out worries like cherry stones.
The clock shouted time’s passage with each clock-click tock-tick tic-tac-toe.
Lists upon lists upon lists in a tower of to-do. Lists listlessly listing, tilting, toppling; balanced upon the acropolis of my thoughts.
Anxious energies were stealing the oxygen. My heart was trying to escape my ribs in an attempt to reclaim the precious air.
The spiralling whirlwind picked me up and span me, spun me, would not stop spinning me.
From the corner of my dizzy eye I caught a movement.
I looked.
I looked again.
The world stop turning.
The flags grew limp, the air grew still and calm stepped back into my presence.

I saw the shadow of a gecko on the wall.
A shadow on the wall.
The tiny shape clung and cleaved to the impossible surface.
Amid the maelstrom, the creature moved with purpose and focus.
Its shadow lay on the wall, reminding me to be. Just be.
I am only a shadow, and the wall is not my experience; it is merely one of many ways that I express myself.
I am the gecko in the light.
It’s my shadow that is feeling the wall, that is all.

The shadow of a gecko guided me home.

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Guru-matic – It has all the answers!

Every home should have one!

Every home should have one!

Diary Entry #262:

My endless quest for enlightenment continues. My go-to-guru list now numbers in the hundreds.
I think I may have finally mastered my understanding of Zen Donkey Wisdom; I can now find my ass with both hands.

Frustratingly, I am finding it hard to choose what to put in my sandwiches; Lunch Guru is on a retreat so is of no help to me.
I fear I may starve.

The days are long and empty; Guru Happy Face will not return my calls and Sri Master Bouncing Cheeseball is booked for the next month.
According to Ascended Plutonian Bus Conductor, my problem is that I am not doing enough work on my Sacred Gizzard Chakra.
When I can raise another $500, I shall certainly be attending that workshop again. Fifth time lucky, hopefully.

For now I sit, Merkaba in hand, gazing longingly at the Crystal Healing Unicycle that I bought.
If only my Transverse Vacuous Pressure Point would close up, I might be able to ride it again.
(At the moment, it’s rubber rings and ointment until the pain goes away.)

Without the wisdom of my beloved Closet Lightwiggle Journeyman, I am uninspired as to what to wear. So, it is with heavy heart and odd socks that I sign off.

I have consulted the Starvision Magic Almanac and apparently tomorrow will be a better day.

Live long and prostate. (That’s a Plutonian phrase apparently. Thanks to APBC for the input.)

 

PS: see attached advert from the Gullible Times. Thinking of sending off for one.

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In praise of the witches’ cackle

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In popular culture, the witch is often portrayed as an ageing crone, chanting over a steaming cauldron and cackling in the moonlight.

Moonlight, cauldron, crone, chanting; we understand the significance of all of these. The significance of the cackling, however, is harder to define.
Is it diabolical ecstasy or a sign of madness? Are we drunk on power or dizzy with the moon?

The answer to these questions is very simple.

We witches cackle because when we get together it is impossible to keep a straight face. The outside world looks on as we invoke our gods and goddesses; perhaps thinking that we greet them stony-faced and in mournful humour.
The reality being that, as each entity and energy draws close we feel the power and joy that they bring.

No-one can experience the dark humour of Hecate or the mischief of the Elementals without a little grin. How many times have we giggled as the candles blow out, or the charcoal won’t catch light? When we stop taking it all so seriously and just enjoy our craft and our rituals, laughter surely follows.

In our community, we are blessed with the company of like-minded souls, misfits and raggle-taggle wanderers. We gather together, as one, in our motley crew then we form a circle and celebrate. We dance, we sing, we cast and we laugh because we have pushed away our cares for a while. We are in the presence of our ancestors, our deities and our magical family.

In the witches’ cackle is the beauty of belonging, the joy of sharing and the song of our soul.

To our cackling brothers and sisters: we hear ourselves in your laughter and we bless you for your happy noise.

Our circle is open but unbroken.

~ Youthemeus

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The Event – Important News

How can we help you?

How can we help you?

The Event: Customer Service Response

Dear Humanity,

Thank you for your interest in “The Event”. We appreciate each and every one of you.

In order to clear up some confusion we would like to clarify some points regarding this event; The Event.

  1. Date Changes: The original date has been changed so many times because we are unable to synchronise the calendars of so many (diverse) cosmic species. For example; there are 54,789 public holidays (each year) on Neptune which makes it all a bit tricky. Imagine trying to co-ordinate that calendar with all of the others! The Grays offered to work the holidays; but those guys just wanted the overtime. You know how they are.
  2. New Date: The new scheduled date for The Event has not yet been set, we are trying to avoid a calendar conflict with both the Epsilon Eridani Sand Sculpture Week and the Pleiadian Ticklemania Festival. We will keep you informed.
  3. Seating: This seems to have caused a lot of confusion amongst you all. You cannot all sit in one seat. For some reason the vast majority of you want to sit in Row D, especially Seat 5. We are not sure why you are all so keen to be in this seat. Row D has an obstructed view and is a long way from the restrooms. Also, why do 144,000 of you want to sit in 7D? What is wrong with 1-4D, 6D and 8D upwards?
  4. Hats: If you all want to sit in 5D, we will have to insist that you take it in turns. Druids, you will have to remove your hats as a courtesy to those seated behind (and beneath) you.
  5. Body Issues: You will all be keeping your original bodies. We only have one cloakroom attendant (Mrs. Maloney) and she is not going to be able to cope with checking in 7 billion bodies. She struggled to deal with two dozen capes at the Andromedan Masked Ball last year. (NB: We are still trying to find the owner of a stuffed walrus which was unclaimed after that event. Please contact me if this is yours. Thanks)
  6. Light Body Issues: If you want a light-body for The Event, we suggest you cut down on the junk and get outside more.
  7. Beware of Fakes: Do not buy tickets from The Archons. They are renowned for their tendency to pass on fakes to unsuspecting customers. Please only buy from licensed vendors.
  8. Know-it-alls: Channellers, Hybrids, Ascended Masters, Galactic Historians and Divines: we have a special section for you – The Codswallop Stand. As you already know all there is to know about The Event (ahem), we will be seating you at the back in special chairs which will make it easier for you to get your heads up your own back passages. Please note, this is a non-blogging section. Thank you.
  9. Stuff: All Merkabas, Crystal Grids, Anti-Gravity, Chakra-Agitiators, Free Energy Thingamajigs, Orgonite Wotnots and MacroBiotic Devices are not allowed within the seating area. Why? Because we are fed up with tripping over this stuff on our way to the concession stand. Leave it at home for your Unicorn to look after.
  10. Transport: you can find your own way to The Event. Here’s a tip: It is happening inside you right now and has been for all eternity.

Any comment or enquiries please contact me: Lulu Bananabelle, Event Customer Service Supervisor.

Office hours: 1 – 1.15 pm EST (These may seem short hours to you, but I’m from Neptune. Suck it up)

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I greet the god within me

Everything is in me.

Everything is in me.

When I was younger, I used to be able to talk directly to god. I felt him all around me, he was within my reach at all times.
I never felt alone; that calm voice, that feeling of love was always available to me. As a child without a father figure, this idea of a paternalist god was comforting and reassuring.

As I grew older, I realised that the voice, the love and the embrace was mine. I was my own god.
I repeatedly went within myself to understand this fully, but I was fearful of angering god by questioning him.
This in and of itself should be a clear sign that my belief system was open to challenge.
I am real,” said god “but you must not question my existence.”

I asked myself again and again, “who is the voice that speaks to me in the darkness?”
The answer was still the same.
I am my own god.
When I found enough courage to accept that realisation, I became free.
Free: instantly, beautifully and without the weight of thousands of years of doctrine and fear.

No longer was my behaviour the subject of another’s judgement. I wrote my own commandments, my own beatitudes.
With this understanding came great responsibility.
If there is no god to judge, forgive or punish me – how can I know what is right or wrong?
How will I know the correct thing to do?

Again, the answer came, I am my own god. I have a beautiful understanding of my place in creation and my obligations towards others in it.
All those who are representations of higher powers (the old gods, new gods and gods of material things) are only energy manifesting itself in those forms.
There is no one, single, be-all, end-all god. There is no solitary creator, no ultimate head of the pantheon.
This does not mean that there aren’t gods, goddesses, angels, spirits and other such beings; it ‘s just that they are simply different expressions of the same energy.
There have also been some beautiful, compassionate and fantastically human figures throughout the ages – they all had an understanding that they were their own god, too.

I now can appreciate their teachings more profoundly. I am my own god and I am connected to everything around me.

This knowing has helped me come to terms with my confusion over the whole “love me, fear me, please me, obey me” scenario that I kept with me as my understanding of god.
There is no-one to please, obey or fear. There is only someone to love and that is me; I am my own god.
I know that the source is made up of you, them, me, us. We are the source, each spark in us is a spark of the original “one”.
There was no creation, no “bang”, no plan – just us.
We always were and always will be.
Infinite. Eternal. Indestructible.

Today, could be the day that you drop the veil that is hiding your own god-ness from you.
Go within, talk to god. Ask them who they are; listen to the answers but pay the most attention to the voice that is speaking.

You may just recognise that voice as your own.

Namaste.
(I honour the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honour the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace.
When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One.)

~ Youthemeus

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This morning, as I wept.

I am here to realise that I am all to none and none to myself.

I am here to realise that I am all to none and none to myself.

This morning, watching the new day paint its colours on the sky, I was overawed with what it means to be me at this moment.

The weight of the human experience felt heavy on my heart and I began to cry. Through my warm, full tears I realised that I was weeping not with sorrow, but with elation.

There is a deep sense of joy that comes with being truly immersed in this expression of myself. The experience of being in a human vehicle – one that feels pain, pleasure, love and longing – is without equal anywhere in my existence. This fact sometimes makes it a harsh assignment to complete without surrendering my very essence to the daily struggle and drama that makes for the “human experience”.

How easy to forget that all is illusion, all that surrounds me is purely the part of myself that I am expressing.
How easy to forget that this is not real, solely a construction of my own higher self’s learning, searching, reaching and exploring what it means to exist.

When I remember that I am all of this and none of this, my soul pours its balm into my heart and the tears flow without any possibility of stemming the tide. My beautiful, regal, perfect self has designed and chosen this exquisite experience for me, in my current expression, in my manifestation of now.

To see all as part of everything (but also nothing) is why I am here. It is why we are all in this instant. I am here to realise that I am all to none and none to myself. To simultaneously be everything and nothing, existing in the now and the never. My paradoxical dance of existence. This universal blink of an eye holds me up as a magic lantern towards the blank wall of consciousness.

I am eternal, infinite and omni-present. However, in my own reality, I was never here or there – only appearing as the shadow of a hawk on the desert floor; brief, fleeting and intangible.

There is no understanding of separation without pain; however, now that this pain has been held, kissed and treasured by my innermost heart-stone, I am able to see that I am part of the whole. Part of the beautiful, flawed all that I chose to manifest for myself.

Oh, humanity! If you could but see yourself as I see you, you would weep with the enormity of the realisation that you were so loved.
Remember this and be gentle towards each other.

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The parable of the ant.

The leaf:  his raison d’être

The leaf: his raison d’être

Today, I watched as a worker ant struggled to get through a tiny hole in the fly screen.
He was carrying part of a leaf, it was bigger than he was.
All around him other ants toiled with their loads, following one another in a seemingly endless line of leaves and ants.
Fixed on their purpose, they journeyed on; no one of them broke ranks except the little ant at the fly screen.

He pushed and pulled, trying different angles and approaches; but he just could not get the leaf to go through.
Because he would not let go of the leaf, he could not get any further.
I wondered how he was going to resolve his dilemma. He wanted to get to the other side of the screen but he did not want to let go of his leaf.
This leaf was all he had, his only treasure. How could he possibly let it go? What would be the point of being on the other side of the screen if he did not have his leaf?
Who was he without his life’s purpose?

After a long while, the ant seemed to pause. He put down the leaf in the dust and approached the screen.
The ant tentatively poked his antennae through the hole to see what was on the other side.
He pulled back from the screen and returned to his leaf. He moved it one more time towards the screen, as if willing it to go through on its own.
Once more he stepped away from the leaf and returned to the screen. He poked his antennae, then his head, his thorax and finally his abdomen through the hole.
Now fully on the other side of the screen, he gazed wistfully at his beloved leaf; his one possession, his companion, his status symbol, his raison d’être – the leaf.

Without warning, a small breath of wind spirited the leaf away as the ant looked on.
He turned away from the space that once was his leaf (his very life) and studied his new surroundings.
The ant found himself in the shade of a beautiful plant that was green, lush and thrumming with activity.

He saw other ants, free from their leaf-burdens, traveling up and down the stalks of the plant.
Not one of them was traveling behind another, they walked side by side, or on their own.
Some ants even traced lazy spirals on the leaves as they expressed themselves.

This is what the little ant knew was waiting for him. This was his chance to be his authentic self.
In order to become real he had to stop being part of another’s reality.

By letting go of his old behaviour, he received more than he could have imagined.
By stepping out of the line, he became the master of his own path.

Today, I learnt from an ant.
I am shedding my leaf and pushing through to other side.
Why don’t you join me? I hear it is lovely over there.

 

Namaste
~ Youthemeus

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